Domestic violence means different things to different people. The most common vision that comes to mind is a man beating his female partner. Often that is exactly what happens. But there are times when a woman is abusing her male partner. Some dismiss this as being insignificant but I submit that abuse in any form is painful. One victim told me, “Sometimes his words hurt more than his fist.” I suspect this is the case with a man who is abused by his female partner. I would not attempt to evaluate the level of pain experienced by another, but I am sure whether male or female, whether physical of emotional, it is intense.
However, for the purpose of this discussion, I would like to focus on levelness of the field of combat when a couple gets physical with each other. In the sporting world there are rules and guidelines that keep the combat equal. With boxing, wrestling, and other areas of combat there are weight classes that try and make the size factor of the combatants of the competition equal. Even when two guys come together with those differences, they are both trying to win!
But look at a 225-pound man and a 110-pound woman that may become combative. Given the tools she has at hand, the field is probably not going to be level. So what does she do to level the playing field, assuming he is the aggressive one? Under the law, she has some heavy restrictions. Typically the rule is: If he has a gun, she can have a gun, if he has a club, she can have a club, if he has a fist, she can have a fist. I have seen men and their partners fight and typically when a woman is aggressive and hits the man without a weapon, he just laughs about it. That is the thing we guys do, isn’t it? But if she levels the playing field by using a weapon, and he has none, she can be arrested! And remember this, he may be trying to control her life by beating her into submission, but she may very well be trying to stay alive! So, I submit that the best thing a partner can do when things get violent is simply not be there!
However, for the purpose of this discussion, I would like to focus on levelness of the field of combat when a couple gets physical with each other. In the sporting world there are rules and guidelines that keep the combat equal. With boxing, wrestling, and other areas of combat there are weight classes that try and make the size factor of the combatants of the competition equal. Even when two guys come together with those differences, they are both trying to win!
But look at a 225-pound man and a 110-pound woman that may become combative. Given the tools she has at hand, the field is probably not going to be level. So what does she do to level the playing field, assuming he is the aggressive one? Under the law, she has some heavy restrictions. Typically the rule is: If he has a gun, she can have a gun, if he has a club, she can have a club, if he has a fist, she can have a fist. I have seen men and their partners fight and typically when a woman is aggressive and hits the man without a weapon, he just laughs about it. That is the thing we guys do, isn’t it? But if she levels the playing field by using a weapon, and he has none, she can be arrested! And remember this, he may be trying to control her life by beating her into submission, but she may very well be trying to stay alive! So, I submit that the best thing a partner can do when things get violent is simply not be there!
The most reasonable action to take when living in a violent relationship is to: 1) Get out safely; 2) Get your partner to agree to counseling; 3) Stay out until counseling starts to work; 4) If it does not work, stay out and stay safe, because to return may very well mean you go to jail or worse go to a grave!
In the our play, “Domestic Violence the Musical?” the victim performs a song with a blues melody, she sings “I’m a dead woman walking, I’m a human punching bag!” and a little later she sings, “ The only way out is in a body bag.”
Some women really are in situations this serious and it is our goal to bring their plight to the attention of the community that can come together and provide a way out for her and many others like her.
In the our play, “Domestic Violence the Musical?” the victim performs a song with a blues melody, she sings “I’m a dead woman walking, I’m a human punching bag!” and a little later she sings, “ The only way out is in a body bag.”
Some women really are in situations this serious and it is our goal to bring their plight to the attention of the community that can come together and provide a way out for her and many others like her.
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