A Different Experience for Interns

"It was a different environment, one I had never been a part of before. It was truly eye-opening."

One Wednesday, the 23rd of February, Regina Marie, ASU student and intern at Fix the Hurt, was granted access from the Eloy Courthouse to follow FTH Founder, Linda King, as she spoke to a group of probationers -- all of whom were there on charges of domestic violence.

While many have shied away at the thought of sitting among the perpetrators of abuse, hurt and violence for several hours, it was clear in speaking to Regina regarding the experience, that the presentation had just the opposite effect. "I was definitely very excited! I wasn't scared at all."

According to Regina, the main focus of Linda's speech to the men (and select women) was to open up the audience to not just schools and students, but to those that had been affected most personally by domestic violence. After Linda shared with the offenders the story of her late daughter, a victim of abuse, photos of the crime scene were passed among the audience. It became clear that the goal of the presentation wasn't to scold the men and women and point a finger, but to allow them to come to the realization that domestic violence is an inter-connected web. Your sister, your friend, your mother are all potential victims of abuse.

Along with the sharing of Linda's story, Carol, a survivor of not only cancer, but a 40-year long violent relationship, allowed the offenders a glimpse into the life of a victim of abuse. As Regina explained it, "Carol described how hard it was to get out because of the time that she grew up in, where it was very difficult to get out of a marriage." Regina also mentioned that coming to the realization that the relationship was affecting her negatively and a source of hurt in her life was the most difficult part.

Before meeting the offenders themselves, however, Regina also explained her apprehensions. "I thought they were going to be 'thug-ish' and scruffy, possibly evil-looking. However, it was the opposite that proved itself to be true. Most were average, everyday people, the kind of individuals you might see in a store or on the street - or possibly even in your own family."

Regina explained she remembered one man in particular, who was attractive and young, wearing nice clothing and jewelry. The faces of domestic violence and perpetrators are widespread and universal -- a single definition of who is an abuser or a victim is never certain.

As for how Regina felt immediately following her experiences in Eloy, "The feelings were positive. It was amazing. All of the offenders seemed favorable and intrigued by Linda's and Carol's stories. I think it opened their eyes to a lot and possibly to bring change into their lives."

by Julia Sullivan

ASU Intern for Fix the Hurt

A Week of Many Emotions

Tough week for our family. September 1 was eight years since Lisa's death. Lots of sweet memories of her seemed to fill my heart and mind and that's a blessing. She was such a fun child. She was always happy, brave and poised to help her siblings. She loved to bake and was the designated family cookie/cake maker. But her life was cut short and we miss her.

There are many things to look forward to for Fix the Hurt. We have met some very well-connected and forward looking people, who will help to raise awareness and bring to light many of the misconceptions about domestic violence through their sense of our mission.

Travel reservations are confirmed and we are looking forward to the upcoming performances of "Domestic Violence, The Musical?" in several military bases/posts in the U.S. and Japan. Also looking forward to going to El Paso this month for the TVSA conference - Tortilla Soup for the Advocates Soul. September also holds the Pinal County DV Conference and Karma Cups. Speaking of Karma Cups, daughter, Lindsey, has an entry for the bra decorating contest. I think she is quite clever. Here is what she wrote to go with her entry.

"Much time and thought went into what I wanted my bra entry to represent. First and foremost, I wanted it to be a message of hope and better things to come.
Finally Free describes my sister, Lisa. Lisa’s life came to a tragic end eight years ago, but, as I said when I spoke to her abuser in the courtroom: “You took away my best friend, she was all that I had, and now she is gone. But she is better off, because you cannot hurt her any more. She is finally free.”
To all those women who are still in an abusive relationship, I say, “Free yourselves” from the chains of abuse. The purple skirt says to “gather up” your courage and strength and move forward. The bling and sequins are symbolic of a rich future in store for you as a survivor . Butterflies are beautiful and remind us of the freedom to move about, make choices and find your own place in the wide, wonderful world. Everyone loves butterflies and you are loveable and beautiful. Obviously purple is the color that symbolizes healing.
So, let us join together (back hooks) and spread the word that we are here to support and lift each other."

Lindsey King Robles

Another exciting new venture is our continuing rehearsals for the new play, "Total Control" (maybe - still toying with titles). We are enjoying working with our director, David Barker, and pleased with the progress we have made so far. Hopefully, we will be ready to offer this performance by January 2010. Also working on the teen dating musical, "I Have This Friend". Very happy to have met with Keely Bamberg, a very talented young woman who owns StrateGente. We hope to very soon be working with Keely on a strategic plan for Fix the Hurt.

Well, this is just kind of an update on what is going on with Fix the Hurt.