Cienega High School - by Julia Sullivan

       More often than not, juveniles (especially those in middle school and early high school) are considered immature and ignorant. From the perspective of a great deal of adults, children in this age group are looked on as having little to no understanding of reality and its trials, as well as have the categorization of being delinquents and troublemakers. One of the trials that these juveniles are said to have little understanding of is in the realms of romantic and sexual relationships. If anything, these relationships are seen as innocent and trivial, with the only real danger of young love being pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease. However, quite contrary to this belief, on the morning of April 25th I was made witness to the tremendous understanding, knowledge and questioning that these juveniles were capable of, as well as the true realities of their relations with the opposite sex.  

      Driving as the sun rose in the sky, Linda of Fix the Hurt invited myself and two other interns to join her on a journey to Cienega High School in Tucson, where she was to make a speech regarding the dangers of domestic violence abuse, as well as her own personal story of loss and devotion. Before arriving I, as many other individuals my age, had a preconceived notion regarding how 14 and 15 year-olds considered domestic violence. Immature, risk-tasters, unknowledgeable. However, as I seated myself in the auditorium where Linda was to carry on with her presentation, I began to scan the hundreds of faces filing into the auditorium, and became overwhelmed with a sense of familiarity. “This was me.” I thought to myself, as I watched their expressions and body movements as they began to find their seats, boys forming cliques of 7 or 8, girls pairing off into groups of 2. Although I thought myself to be an adult, sitting in a section reserved for us “grown-ups” (a section I had only looked upon as a mere student), it became clear to me at that very moment, that I was not so greatly far from these faces.

        Their mannerisms, their clothing, their conversations. Yet, it was the nature of the relationships that girls had with their boy counterparts that struck me as the most familiar. The relationship was meager, if non-existent. Boys and girls were segregated by choice, with the occasional boy in the back throwing a paper airplane or eraser at the head of the girl in front of him. Tumultuous, confusing. If anything, one of biggest predicaments any boy or girl in middle and high school will have to wrestle with is their relationship with the other sex. Society socializes each gender as if the other was a complete alien, with entirely different habits and attitudes. However, as Linda began to tell her story of the loss of her daughter as a result of domestic violence, of the tumultuous and rocky relationship a male and a female were partners in, a funny thing happened. Silence. The bantering chatter and whispering at the beginning of the presentation came to a halt as a wave of eager eyes rested on Linda as she spoke. For a single moment, regardless of gender, all eyes and minds were focused on a single idea.

        As I continued to sit in my chair and scan my eyes from face to face in the crowd, it became clear to me that my preconceived notions of these young people’s immaturity and ignorance was nonexistent. For all that we as adults don’t give them credit for, these 14 and 15 year-olds seemed to have a firm, strong and serious grasp upon an extremely dire subject matter. Even as the presentation concluded, individuals overcome with emotion with tears streaming their cheeks lined up at the end of the stage, waiting for the chance to tell their story or hug Linda. While their relationships may be rocky at best, it is also true that these very young individuals are much more intelligent and involved than any adult might give them credit for.

         

Adrianne's Experience

Following is an observation written by Adrianne - a Fix the Hurt intern, who is getting her Master's Degree from a college in Grenada.  She found Fix the Hurt through a relative in AZ and we connected right away.  She joined ASU interns, Julia and Allison and me at Cienega High School on April 25th, where 550 freshmen were gathered to learn about dating violence.  Many thanks to Eric Boxley at the high school.

"Today served as both an interesting and fulfilling day after going out with Fix the Hurt Organization to educate a group of high school freshman on the dangers of domestic violence in dating and marriage relationships. It was great to see the young audience get so quiet and listen intently as Linda shared her personal story of losing her precious daughter to domestic dating violence. It was a serious topic that I found the students not only taking an interest in, but routing for the King family and Tennessee. I was able to share some dating, rape, and domestic violence statistics with the crowd towards the start of the presentation. I could feel their attention and interest in each statement I made. Having 12% of the audience stand up to illustrate the amount of their age group that would experience domestic violence in dating relationship was an effective visual to allow them to gain an understanding of how common it is. When Linda discussed the events leading up to her daughter's death and the feelings that came afterward it was very emotional. The room was completely filled with students and I know many of them were enlightened and empowered by the presentation. A sign language interpreter was used in order to reach those that were hearing impaired.

Following the presentation the males left and with the group of females held back it was great to hear their questions. Many asked for advice on what to do in certain situations. This was a great opportunity to get to know the group better along with some of the personal challenges and struggles they are faced with. When time was up a smaller group stayed back to talk with Linda, many of which poured out their hearts and gratitude for her coming and discussed some very personal things; sharing a moment of deep reflection and connection that led to hugs and tears in many instances. It was very rewarding to be a part of their day and encourage healthy dating behaviors. The surveys the students turned in served as a point for a greater understanding of what the students thought as they shared their comments about the presentation. My hope is that each student was able to take something from the presentation today that will make them a better person and better their life and the lives of those around them in some fashion. If at least one person was moved or changed for the better after the visit today I know it was worth it. I know, however, that many were influenced and changed for the better; making today more than worth it"

Adrianne Prado

Fix the Hurt: Preview "Adrianne's Experience"

Fix the Hurt: Preview "Adrianne's Experience"

From Allison's Notes

After meeting with Linda and Julie this past week, thoughts were racing through my head on so many different points; I couldn’t even connect the dots. One of the things I’ve learned to be a valuable tool in sorting those points out is stream of consciousness writing. Sure it’s probably just as hard to follow down on paper as it is in my head, but at least this way, I can rely on others to help sort through them.  So, I apologize in advance for any and all non-sequester thought processes and abrupt changes in direction. It is my hope that you will garner something from what I have to offer, even if I cannot define what that something is!

It is not easy to find inspiration. In times where we hear of darkness, frivolousness, and greed, finding something greater to work for takes effort. I feel like we too often look for heroes to outsmart and conquer our ills. But we will only be disappointed. Looking to people in positions of power, often the people we put into those positions in the first place, ultimately leads to some form of disappointment. I have become, in many ways, disenchanted with the system, overcome with pessimism.

Over time, I have learned to look elsewhere for my inspiration, my heroes, and search out hope. It’s counter intuitive, even risky, but more often than not, I find what I am looking for not in heroes in the traditional sense, but in the victims of that omnipresent darkness. Those hard-to-hear stories of people who lost to- or were lost within that darkness, are what motivate me. In my case, it is especially the victims of domestic violence, those who have found the very difficult path to survivor-ship status, who play the role of heroes. And in the instances where survivor-ship is never attained, it is those who fight for the victims that are my heroes. While I hope I never have to fight to become of the first category, it is the second in which I am determined to join—who doesn’t want to play superhero?

As with superheroes, actions, more often than not, speak louder than words. How many times was that told to me as a child?! It seemed constant. Words can be beautiful things, powerful things, but still, pictures of action elicit an entirely different response.

We, as a society, like to hear of the little person who defeated the mighty giant. That action is seen as the ultimate battle. Still, too often we do nothing to help the little person in their pursuit. Today we see more people fall at the hands of a giant than who conquer it. But imagine a story in which many people stand up to the giant. Some may still fall, but as more stand to take their places, what cannot be achieved? Isn’t that the whole idea behind a participatory democracy? So who don’t are actions coincide with our words, how have the roles been reversed, allowing words to become more powerful insomuch as they stand alone?

Fix the Hurt is a platform for joining all the little persons defending themselves against the giant of domestic violence. Awareness/conscious rising is the first step in leveling the playing field against domestic violence. We can all be superheroes. I know I would, at the very least, aspire to become one.