A Good Day at Prison

The morning was different and we anticipated the long awaited event.  As we picked up Board Member  Leah Heathcoat, and  drove the one hour plus to our destination our minds were busy anticipating the things we hoped to accomplish. As we went through the requisite inspection of our bags, fussed with setting off alarms because we forgot to take off a belt or something else, our anticipation increased. Finally, we walked through the reinforced door and heard it slam behind us.

The realization that we were, in fact, inside the Cook Unit at the Arizona State Prison, located in Florence, Arizona, became reality. You might think this would cause an anxiety attack, but it didn’t. The attitude of the approximately 80 men dressed in orange prison clothing was cordial and comfortable.

As we started setting up the props and sound system, I turned to see Linda out shaking hands with the inmates and learning their names. We were there to present the Fix the Hurt play, Control.Assault.Delete.  Deputy Warden Freeland was helpful and made us welcome. While we had performed for the female inmates at Perryville, we had not performed for male inmates and didn’t know what to expect. http://www.azcorrections.gov/prisons/Jeff_Eyman.aspx

What a delightful experience we had. At the close of the performance, the applause was over whelming. The question and answer session went for about forty five minutes and the comments were sincere and contained an unexpected amount of insight.   We distributed surveys/evaluations and spent the return trip reading their remarks.

A few select comments follow:

Responses  to the questions-

Q- Was the program beneficial to you? Why?

R -“The material is an insight to a very real situation that is all too frequent and common. The message is powerful and should be heard by as many people as possible.”

R- “It is important regardless of the choices we have made, to be able to identify the signs of destructive behavior."

Q- Do you have family members and friends that should see this program?

R- “Everyone should see this. If more people were educated on this issue perhaps we could prevent more bad outcomes.”

Responses under comments

R- “You have faced this with unbelievable courage. Perhaps we could raise funds for your cause.”

R- “Your performance was phenomenal. The depth and meaning was inviting and captivating.”

R.- "The play had a powerful impact on me and it was well done. You told the story so powerful that it put me completely in the story and I was drawn into each scene watching things as it unfold.  God has chosen you to tell about this evil, this is a powerful ministry prison DOC inmates need to see this play."

R- "I believe every inmate in every yard should see this play."

The comments go on and on with the same spirit. How grateful we are each time we present our message to teach concepts that will prevent some other person from dropping or being pulled into the pitfall.

Needless to say we walked out on air and hardly noticed the requisite inspection upon leaving the facility. We await our next opportunity to make another presentation to the female inmates at Perryville on July 10^th.  A huge "THANK YOU" to Sen. Rich Crandall, Will Barnow from ADC and Mar Kuhlman, for helping to expedite this process.  

John and Linda

Adrianne's Experience

Following is an observation written by Adrianne - a Fix the Hurt intern, who is getting her Master's Degree from a college in Grenada.  She found Fix the Hurt through a relative in AZ and we connected right away.  She joined ASU interns, Julia and Allison and me at Cienega High School on April 25th, where 550 freshmen were gathered to learn about dating violence.  Many thanks to Eric Boxley at the high school.

"Today served as both an interesting and fulfilling day after going out with Fix the Hurt Organization to educate a group of high school freshman on the dangers of domestic violence in dating and marriage relationships. It was great to see the young audience get so quiet and listen intently as Linda shared her personal story of losing her precious daughter to domestic dating violence. It was a serious topic that I found the students not only taking an interest in, but routing for the King family and Tennessee. I was able to share some dating, rape, and domestic violence statistics with the crowd towards the start of the presentation. I could feel their attention and interest in each statement I made. Having 12% of the audience stand up to illustrate the amount of their age group that would experience domestic violence in dating relationship was an effective visual to allow them to gain an understanding of how common it is. When Linda discussed the events leading up to her daughter's death and the feelings that came afterward it was very emotional. The room was completely filled with students and I know many of them were enlightened and empowered by the presentation. A sign language interpreter was used in order to reach those that were hearing impaired.

Following the presentation the males left and with the group of females held back it was great to hear their questions. Many asked for advice on what to do in certain situations. This was a great opportunity to get to know the group better along with some of the personal challenges and struggles they are faced with. When time was up a smaller group stayed back to talk with Linda, many of which poured out their hearts and gratitude for her coming and discussed some very personal things; sharing a moment of deep reflection and connection that led to hugs and tears in many instances. It was very rewarding to be a part of their day and encourage healthy dating behaviors. The surveys the students turned in served as a point for a greater understanding of what the students thought as they shared their comments about the presentation. My hope is that each student was able to take something from the presentation today that will make them a better person and better their life and the lives of those around them in some fashion. If at least one person was moved or changed for the better after the visit today I know it was worth it. I know, however, that many were influenced and changed for the better; making today more than worth it"

Adrianne Prado

Written by Steve Culp for FTH

I met Steve during a blogathon sponsored by Joanna Doane - who was an intern for FTH last year and just an awesome young woman whose heart is 6 ft tall, eventhough her body is about 4'9". She blogged for 24 hours, raising much needed funds for Fix the Hurt, and I joined in for several and met some amazing ppl. Steve is one of them. He called to interview me for a paper he was writing for college credit. This is it. I think he did a great job.
Fix the Hurt by Steve Culp
A growing problem in the United States is domestic violence. Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern or behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. Many people are victims of domestic violence and many people are unaware. Who are the victims of domestic violence? “Domestic abuse victims are doctors and lawyers and movie actors. They may be beautiful and have wonderful educations. They have only a few things in common - their fear and shame and their futile hope for change. You know them. They are your neighbors. They are the people you see on your walk. They may be you. They may be your child.”
Linda King and her husband John are a married couple who are very aware of domestic violence and the most horrible outcome domestic violence can have. Linda King lost her daughter Lisa to domestic violence. “She died from blunt force trauma to the head - six blows and cocaine intoxication by ingestion - administered orally,” Linda states, as her fingers press down the buttons on her keyboard as she is typing.
“Sam was the only one in the apartment with her.” Sam was Lisa's husband, whom she had been divorced from for 3 years. “She died sometime around midnight and he didn't report it until 2:00 pm the next day.” What kind of judgment was served for a crime like this? “He was charged with murder, but convicted of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and got 10 yrs. He gets out in November this year. He served all 10 yrs, no parole. He is in the Texas prison system.” Did Linda feel that the ten year sentence was an adequate judgment? “I was disappointed in the sentence, but it is what it is and I would rather be Lisa's mother than his. I fear he will do it again.” she says “This was not his first offense. He had an agg [aggravated] assault in FL [Florida] several yrs ago. He spent two years in prison. Lisa thought she could "save him" and she went down a bad path with him.” says Linda, now explaining that she is typing quickly and there may be a chance for grammatical errors.
This situation must be hard for anyone, especially parents who are already involved in trying to help spread the word of domestic violence. “After Lisa's death I knew how she would want her hair and make-up so I dressed her body for her funeral. I tried to cover the bruises on her eye and cheek along with the bruise and cut on her lip. I dressed her so that the long sleeves on her dress would cover up the bruises on her arms. Some say purple is the color of healing, but to me it is the color of pain. I tell everyone I speak to that if they are the victim of a hit or feel that they want to hit, purple is the color they will see. The internal bruises/emotional, bruise the heart and soul and often are harder to heal than the bruises on the outside.” These are some very strong words from such a strong woman.
What steps did Linda take to spread the word of domestic violence? “I started speaking mainly to high school groups in 1999, even before Lisa died, because I thought she was out of the relationship and in a good place. She and I both volunteered at a dv [domestic violence] shelter in El Paso.” And after the death of Lisa, Linda took even more steps “We moved to AZ in 2005 and I decided that in order to break into the dv community here that I should form a non-profit. I went back to El Paso and did the interview of the DA, police chief, officer and advocate to try to give myself some credibility for my work in AZ. “
The non-profit Linda speaks about is called “Fix the Hurt” which is a non-profit organization that helps inform others about domestic violence , the outcome, and also offers several types of help to victims of domestic violence. The corporation and the people who run it, along with the volunteers, run different types of fund-raising events to help them spread the word. They even go to schools and prisons to speak and do different performances to help spread the word.. “Our play, CONTROL.ASSAULT.DELETE, is a two person play (John & I), we play the roles of ourselves, Lisa and her abuser, the bailiff and judge. We don't hold anything back, Lisa's drug use, the fact that she slept with a drug dealer for Sam to get his drugs. But we don't want what we do to be a memorial to Lisa, it is about every Lisa, Julie, Mary and Joe.” The performances also include “DV the Musical?” and “I Have This Friend”. The performances are very strong and not easily forgotten, as explained by Linda. ”My little non profit is small, but we try to make a difference. Our productions are really good and we have never failed to have a standing ovation. The message is strong and it is not something that is forgotten soon.”
“Fix the Hurt” has performed for over 20,000 people worldwide and have raised $15,000+ for victim services. Their website http://www.helpfixthehurt.org/ has listed many sources of information on domestic violence, victims, family, who can be a victim of domestic violence and offers a place and people for victims of domestic violence to turn to.
Domestic violence effects many people in many ways, be it the victim themselves or their families. Linda King was a victim herself, in her first marriage that had lasted nine years. “My first husband was abusive emotionally, but I never knew what it was. We were married for 9 years. We married very young.” Linda offers words of encouragement to victims of domestic violence. “You are a good person and deserve to be treated with respect. I will be here to listen and have information for you when you are ready. I won't judge you and I will believe you. I won't push you, but I will help you.” She even offers advice for people trying to help a person who is in a domestic violence relationship. “If you talk about their abuser, they will defend him. You have to keep the focus on them and what their dreams are and how to achieve those dreams. Can they achieve what they want if they stay where they are?” Those are very strong words of encouragement and advice from a very courageous woman.
There is much hope and passion in what Linda does, and there are many people who need to be informed of “Fix the Hurt” and their cause. “Fix the Hurts” website, its five directors and its list of volunteers, all help make it possible to help spread the word of domestic violence, what the outcome can be, how to deal with domestic violence, and how to spot a person who may be a victim of domestic violence. The people of “Fix the Hurt” are all very passionate about spreading the word and finding a stop to domestic violence. They are the heart and souls of “Fix the Hurt” and they are the courage, support, and strength for the victims of domestic violence.

New Light Brought to Age Old Problem

The age old problem . . . . how to get people to pay attention to a problem they find appalling and believe there is no solution for.

So, it is with Dating and Domestic Violence! We tell our story, people are appalled and verbally condemn the act, and then they go home and immediately forget.

That is the reason the Fix the Hurt group turned to theater arts presentation to try and create a memory that will not be forgotten and will promote action.

For several weeks I was involved with a project to determine the value of theater arts in bringing awareness to the public, relative to these issues. A Women's Studies class scripted a dating violence scenario, entitled, "What would you to do help fix the hurt?" This skit was to be presented in three locations on ASU campus. Actors from the theater arts department on campus were invited to provide two actors to perform this skit.

Basically, the female actress was to be texting and the male actor was to come up, grab the phone and start scrolling though the messages, telling the girl he had the right to look at her text messages because he bought her the phone. He was to accuse her of flirting with some other guy on text. An argument developed and the actor was to take the actress by the arm and lead her away.

While the program prompted a reaction the group did not anticipate, and while it is not the response desired, it does make one important point!! People pay attention and react to live theatrical presentations.

As the actor grabbed the actress by the arm to lead her away, it seems one of the people watching the skit unfold, and not realizing it was a skit, rushed in and put a hammerlock on the actor and took him to the ground. Several people pulled him off the actor and explained to the "hero" that it was just a skit.

Clearly the message got out to the spectators. Fortunately, no one was hurt and the actors felt they had succeeded in realistically presenting the performance and the study group can definitely show that Theater Arts powerfully sends the message.

As a sidebar, there are several factors that come to light as a result of this experience:

1. Had the situation been a real encounter, the abuser would have been more alert to the actions of the crowd and may have not gone down to easily and people could have been hurt.

2. After the fray, the abuser would have, no doubt, blamed the victim for the actions of the hero and would have made her pay dearly for the incident.

To learn more about Fix the Hurt and its programs, go to www.HelpFixtheHurt.org.

New Beginnings

What is going on in the King household this week? Well, Lindsey and Linda spent the night in midnight madness Black Friday, shopping. Not me! I was sleeping!

Linda and I are in the middle of rehearsal for what, I guess, will be called, "Control-Assault-Delete". This is a 55-minute, two person show that tells Lisa's story of the nine year walk through a violent relationship. Linda and I take the parts of various people and it is really testing our memorizing skills.

The director, David Barker, is a great guy, who is a Professor of Theatre at ASU. He has his own one-man show, entitled, "Dodging Bullets". This is a story of his sister's walk through and out of a violent relationship. The Dodging Bullets title is exactly what happened at one point, except the sister didn't dodge as well as David. "Dodging Bullets" will be performed at ASU on January 14. I think there are a few tickets left.

In any event we are excited about this one, and hope it is as well received as "Domestic Violence, The Musical?"

We are involved in trying to get the next play in the typewriter at this time. It will be called, "I Have This Friend." It is dealing with teen dating violence and will be designed for high school students.

So you see, Linda is as busy as usual while John loafs around.

We will keep you posted as we move forward.

John says, "Some people try to turn back their odometers, not me. I want people to know why I look this way. I have traveled a long way and some of the roads were not paved."

DV Awareness???? No Clear Bell???

Well, it is almost October again and everyone is getting hyped about Domestic Violence prevention activities. These are dedicated, well-intentioned people, intent on helping victims avoid and escape abusive relationships, stopping the growth of abuse and making the public aware of how they can help.

When it is over and you look around, you see that things seem to settle back into the same old routine! People go about their business and often they hear nothing more until next year

I have the image of this huge bell busily swinging back and forth all year long and people watching it and admiring the bell. But, in my mind I see people looking and walking away or not even looking up. Closer inspection reveals there is no clangor in the bell. It swings daily and never issues a sound.

How do we put a clangor in the bell, so its peal will be ever present in our communities?

That is the Fix the Hurt Dream! We are working to bring the wonderful message that Domestic Violence, the Musical? delivers, and developing other performing arts programs that will appeal to agencies and groups across the nation.

Our upcoming performances include 11 performances in October and 1 in November of this year. You can check the website at http://www.fixthehurtpag.org/.

Soon you will see changes in our website, the two, http://www.fixthehurtpag.org/ and http://www.fixthehurt.org/, will join into one and be more powerful than ever.

John Says ---Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know why I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved