DVTM at the Herberger

“Domestic Violence, The Musical?”

With the nail biting John always has to do it was even more stressful when the D V the musical cast had to travel from El Paso to Phoenix. Sunday evening many of the cast members finished their performance of “Shakespeare on the Rocks”, climbed into a van with the rest of the cast about 11:30 PM, Arizona time and drove 8 hours to perform Monday night at the Herberger Theater in Downtown Phoenix. You know how it is when the kids are out late with the car? Yep, that is sort of what John was feeling! He probably called them three or four times en-route to make sure the vehicle was performing well and all other sorts of things. What can I say, he worries a lot!

All of his worries paid off because they had no trouble and What a Performance! They were a big hit in Phoenix and we are planning to be back in April.

As we watch the audience and see the emotions, we continue to be gratified that we have a musical that carries the message so well. Kudos, to the writer and director, Loren Marsters, for the great job.
It is a little confusing to the audience, because the performance is so realistic, the audience starts asking the advice of the actors.
One person stood in front of the cast and said, “Where were you guys when I was getting married?”

We are looking at a really busy schedule for October. We have five performances on the board. We will be playing to Holloman AFB to an estimated 1000 to 1200 Airmen, the New Mexico District 12 with a performance in Alamogordo New Mexico. And we have a number of shows booked for April, already.

We are getting requests for the play from all over the country and will try to get the message to as many as we can reach.

Linda

Lest I Be Misunderstood . . .

Lest I be misunderstood, let me hasten to say that I feel sick to my stomach when I see an animal abused. There are not many things cuter that a puppy and I understand the companionship and health building benefits of dogs in our life. I have two and a half year old granddaughter that simply cannot see a doggy without running toward it, and she is the light of her Papa’s eye.
Now having said all that I must say that there are times when I think the media has things out of perspective. Let me explain why I am concerned about the media.
Some needed information to explain my concerns:
Between 25 to 35 % of our population is abused by their domestic partnesr.
Statistics show that each year 3.3 million children in the United States are exposed to Domestic Violence.
324,000 women each year are abused during pregnancy (consider the unborn baby that makes 648,000 cases of abuse each year).
Now we read in the news paper, and see on TV that an elected official is arrested for beating his wife but what is the focus? The focus is who will replace him in his elected position if he steps down? HELLO!! This is a human being that has been beaten!
A woman is killed by her partner and where do we read about it?
In the obituary or perhaps buried in the middle of the “what all happened at the pool today” section of the paper.
It is October, Domestic Violence Month and the Arizona Coalition Against Domestic Violence has its opening event at the Herberger theater and you cannot find one single news media person anywhere! Efforts to get the event publicized are ignored except for Channel 12 TV and an article restricted to the East Valley Edition of the Arizona Republic. The very next morning I go out and pick up my paper and go to the Valley and State section. ABOVE THE FOLD IN LARGE BOLD LETTERS WITH LARGE PHOTOS AND THREE COLUMNS WIDE I READ--- Volunteers retrieve 89 dogs saved from MO. Puppy mill – Please understand that I applaud the tremendous efforts of these volunteers to rescue these dogs from Missouri and all of those like them who work to end the emotional and physical pain and suffering of any of Gods creatures.
My issue is that the media has decided what is in the interest of the masses rather than fairly and equally reporting the real issues. I suspect that the method of selecting the replacement for a public official could be properly carried out without commentary from the media on the front page. On the other hand so many inequalities continue unreported in the human pain and suffering arena, as in the case of the battered wife, with so little interest and less effort by the media to properly focus on them and really make a difference.
John

DVTM - Phoenix Herberger Stage West

Well, September 22nd is almost here. Just one more day until "showtime" for Phoenix. Our El Paso cast will be traveling to Arizona this evening to a much anticipated performance. Much anticipated for them, as well as for those who will attend the play tomorrow night. My belief is that the show will be even better than before. There have been some minor changes and tweeking by our director, Loren Marsters.

DVTM won't be resting long before five more performances in four days in New Mexico at Holloman Air Force Base and the performance at Alamorgodo, sponsored by the District Attorney for Otero County, NM, two shows for the Canutillo School District and then the Help, Hope and Healing Conference for El Paso District Attorney. The interesting thing about these five performances is that they are all free to the public - an indication that while these plays are often used for fundraising for agencies/groups, the most sincer

DV Means Different Things to Different People

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Domestic violence means different things to different people. The most common vision that comes to mind is a man beating his female partner. Often that is exactly what happens. But there are times when a woman is abusing her male partner. Some dismiss this as being insignificant but I submit that abuse in any form is painful. One victim told me, “Sometimes his words hurt more than his fist.” I suspect this is the case with a man who is abused by his female partner. I would not attempt to evaluate the level of pain experienced by another, but I am sure whether male or female, whether physical of emotional, it is intense.

However, for the purpose of this discussion, I would like to focus on levelness of the field of combat when a couple gets physical with each other. In the sporting world there are rules and guidelines that keep the combat equal. With boxing, wrestling, and other areas of combat there are weight classes that try and make the size factor of the combatants of the competition equal. Even when two guys come together with those differences, they are both trying to win!

But look at a 225-pound man and a 110-pound woman that may become combative. Given the tools she has at hand, the field is probably not going to be level. So what does she do to level the playing field, assuming he is the aggressive one? Under the law, she has some heavy restrictions. Typically the rule is: If he has a gun, she can have a gun, if he has a club, she can have a club, if he has a fist, she can have a fist. I have seen men and their partners fight and typically when a woman is aggressive and hits the man without a weapon, he just laughs about it. That is the thing we guys do, isn’t it? But if she levels the playing field by using a weapon, and he has none, she can be arrested! And remember this, he may be trying to control her life by beating her into submission, but she may very well be trying to stay alive! So, I submit that the best thing a partner can do when things get violent is simply not be there!

The most reasonable action to take when living in a violent relationship is to: 1) Get out safely; 2) Get your partner to agree to counseling; 3) Stay out until counseling starts to work; 4) If it does not work, stay out and stay safe, because to return may very well mean you go to jail or worse go to a grave!

In the our play, “Domestic Violence the Musical?” the victim performs a song with a blues melody, she sings “I’m a dead woman walking, I’m a human punching bag!” and a little later she sings, “ The only way out is in a body bag.”

Some women really are in situations this serious and it is our goal to bring their plight to the attention of the community that can come together and provide a way out for her and many others like her.

. . . . and Justice For All

The loss of a child is always painful and something that any parent, instinctively, will do almost anything to avoid. Once the loss has occurred, the parent tries to minimize the pain and suffering attributable to that loss. But there are birthdays, death days, holidays and a myriad of other days that bring memories of good times and the loss. In our case, today the 6th day of September, is the anniversary of Lisa’s funeral day.

In many lives, one such event is the parole-hearing day. The day the perpetrator makes his bid to be released from a cell and again enter society. We had that opportunity in 2006 and that bid was denied. One of the factors that influence the parole board seems to be the response from the public and victims family. While we are not mean spirited, and are willing to let things rest in the hands of a higher power we feel a responsibility to our daughter who lies in a premature grave. We feel there are factors that caused the judge and jury to be more lenient than was prudent, but again, that is not our decision, so we are willing to let responsibility for that rest in others hands.

So you ask then why are you inputting the process to encourage a full term sentence? Simple! We believe in justice and in our minds justice must be served without the early intervention of mercy.

Again, the process was conducted in August of 2008, with the same results and a determination that the opportunity would not be available again and the full term would be served. Others will see this differently, but we are satisfied that all that can be done, has been done and we leave the rest in the hands of that higher power.

We wish to thank those who have asked and have written letters expressing their feelings about the situation. Your expressions of love, interest and concern are a great comfort to us, of Lisa’s family. We are always reluctant to name individuals, but in this case will make an exception. We express appreciation to the Assistant District Attorney, Bill Hicks. His efforts have been above and beyond those required by his office and we appreciate his expression of concern in Lisa’s behalf. We hope that he who was judged in this case, has and will take this opportunity to reflect on how life can be made better and at the first chance, choose the higher road that leads to success throughout eternity.

We will continue to work toward the same goal with an eye to the time we will be rejoined by our precious loved ones that were called to the other side of the veil before us.

John and Linda