YES, WE ARE ON OUR SOAPBOX AGAIN!!

We are still shouting the same message PREVENTION, PREVENTION, PREVENTION. We cannot stop until we are accomplishing what needs to be done.
Take a look and see if it doesn’t make sense to you! What we need to do in addition to running the existing shelters for the abused is to raise funds for the Fix The Hurt program to stem the flow of victims to the shelters. If we build more shelters we will continue to have full shelters. If we prevent violence we can reduce the number of beaten and battered victims that need shelter. TAKE A LOOK AT OUR PLAN AND IF IT MAKES SENSE GO TELL SOMEONE! Heck go tell everyone!

We, at Fix the Hurt, are making a special plea for assistance from large companies and foundations to expand a program designed to help stop the murder of 1181 people in this country each year and the suffering of many thousands of others including little children and expectant mothers. The culprit? Domestic Violence!
Domestic Violence! What is it?
Its the number one killer of women in the workplace, the cause of more than 10,866 victims in Arizona having to seek refuge in 2007 and 10,218 additional victims to be denied access to shelters due to the lack of space, and it is the cause of many of these families losing an average of $40,000**income per year per family. And that is just in Arizona.
We, at Fix the Hurt, continue to have grave concerns over the exceedingly large numbers of victims that continue to seek shelter and the proportionately large number of victims that have to be rejected. There are simply too many to accommodate. When victims are turned away from the shelter’s they often have to return to an abusive relationship at home with disastrous results.
Denial = return to abuse = more control & abuse = poor work performance = termination = less income = more abuser control & financial crisis = elevated abuse or death.
A study conducted in Massachusetts in 2002, reflects the following:
At a hearing in Massachusetts, 60% of those testifying cited job loss, including being suspended and fired, as a direct or indirect result of domestic violence.
Domestic violence impeded victim’s job performance or job advancement and compromised safety for themselves or their children, as well as financial security.
In addition to the personal financial impact, the Massachusetts Study reveals that each year domestic violence costs businesses $3 billion to $5 billion in diminished productivity, increased health care costs, absenteeism and employee turnover. (Bureau of National Affairs “Violence and Stress”.)

Fix the Hurt is a not-for-profit corporation, formed to circumvent domestic violence and believes much more needs to be done to stem the flow of victims that are forced into shelters to save their own lives and the lives of their children.
Armed with that belief, and a desire to use the arts to communicate the issues, we have produced a musical entitled “Domestic Violence the Musical?”.,
This program has been presented to over 4,300 people since July, 2008, including 600 airmen, 1800 High School students hundreds of victims, advocates, law enforcement and the general public, with tremendous reception. Unfortunately, we have not been able to respond to the requests from such places as New Hampshire, Wisconsin, New York, Florida, California, East Texas, Utah, as well as, England and Australia. Fortunately, the United States Marine Corp. has recognized the desperate need and is considering bringing our program to the Marine Air Station in Iwakuni, Japan to be presented to Marine and Navy personnel, families, school students and the general public in mid-April.
Our challenge is to secure funds to take our cast to the various locations to present to these communities. Most communities can afford the cost of the play, but are not able to pay the travel expenses.
John Says: There is always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it.
For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt!

Treasures in the Closet

Well, it seems our life is now measured in the number of blogs. If that were true you might not see a lot more of them.

It has been an interesting week, as we weave our way through the maze of trying to raise funds to get the play into all the areas that need to hear the message of "Domestic Violence The Musical?". We seem to spend a lot more time seeking money to take the show out than we do helping people. Guess that is the way it works, until we make a name for ourselves.

We did take a little time out this week to organize the garage and our closets. We were elated that we found a box in the garage that had matured up to 7 years and we could discard the “stuff” in it. John brought it in and I went through it to capture and shred the important stuff. I found a file that held some letters and cards Lisa sent to John and me. They spanned about 6 years and were before the abusive period and after she got out (we thought). Thought you would find it interesting to see a couple of attitude indicators. I hope this gives you a sense of what it means to a victim that we continue to love them and never give up on them-

In Lisa’s words from her letter below. Before the “madness”,

Oct. 1992 – Dear Mommy ,“Hey there how are ya? I’m doing good! Made cookies and took to the guys next door. Mike was the only one home. The one I think is so nice. I really took them to him so I could see him! Up until I leave to come home I will be so stressed. I’ll need your prayers! Mon. the 9th I have to do my presentation on effective prayer---!”

No letters or very much meaningful communication during this time, termed by Lisa “during the madness”.

After the “madness”

12/15/ 97. "Dad , I hope now that I have my head on straight, that we can pick up where we left off and begin to build our relationship again – promise, I won’t leave ya again. I love you!" Lisa

John’s comment was, “she did but, it was not her fault”.

2/14/98 - "To Mom and Dad, I want to thank both of you for all the help and support you have given me through all this madness and for never giving up. I love you, Lisa."

5/30/98 - "Dear Mommy, Its about 9:30 pm, Saturday night and you just left. You're probably wondering why I am writing you, when I could just tell you how I feel. I just want you to have a reminder and always remember and know how much I love you. I don’t even know where to begin to express my love for you . . . . . I appreciate all that you do for me and I'm truly sorry for everything I have put you through. Love, Lisa"

The reason I wanted you to see this is so you (the reader) would know that if you are suffering from this situation with a loved one, you need to understand they know you love them, they just cannot do much about it at the time, but hopefully, one day your love and assurance and patience will pay big benefits.

Yes, Lisa lost her life, but she had a couple of good strong years when she knew life was worth living. She just made the mistake of letting him back in. Linda

Some advice from John - If you find yourself in a hole, stop diggin’.

Back To the Business of Fighting Domestic Abuse

We have been a little too relaxed during the holidays, and so have not written a blog for a few times now. Sorry, but Christmas was great with the kids, but we missed Lane and Lori, who were not able to be with us during the holidays. Of course, ever present in our thoughts were the three of our children who have answered a summons to dwell on the other side of the veil. What a great thing it is to have loving children and children that we will ever love.

We have been looking at the impact of the all of the efforts in the fight against domestic violence. A review of the U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Statistics July 2008, report while showing some progress in areas, is still a little discouraging when you look at the 30-year period from 1976 to 2005. The number of men murdered by intimates has declined since 1976 from 9.2% of the total male homicides to 2.5% in 2005. At the same time female homicides has shown much less significant drop in murders by intimates, falling from 34.65% of the total female homicides by intimates in 1976 to 33.3% in 2005. Not much to show for 30 years of efforts. Yes, there has been a drop in total homicides, but the ratio for female victims has not dropped significantly. The % of black females homicide victims has dropped, while the % of white females has not. We have a long way to go to win this one.

Excitement grows and cast and support group are looking to be sure passports and other documentation are being readied for the trip to Japan. Domestic Violence will debut in Iwakuni Japan on April 15th. We have cut the cast back due to travel cost and the ever-loyal cast in El Paso is searching for a way to raise the necessary funds locally to pay the cost of taking the entire cast to Japan, to play for our men and women serving our nation in that part of the world.

In the next issue----- Domestic Violence Prevention or Circumvention? Check out the definitions and give us your feedback.