"It was a different environment, one I had never been a part of before. It was truly eye-opening."One Wednesday, the 23rd of February, Regina Marie, ASU student and intern at Fix the Hurt, was granted access from the Eloy Courthouse to follow FTH Founder, Linda King, as she spoke to a group of probationers -- all of whom were there on charges of domestic violence.
While many have shied away at the thought of sitting among the perpetrators of abuse, hurt and violence for several hours, it was clear in speaking to Regina regarding the experience, that the presentation had just the opposite effect. "I was definitely very excited! I wasn't scared at all."
According to Regina, the main focus of Linda's speech to the men (and select women) was to open up the audience to not just schools and students, but to those that had been affected most personally by domestic violence. After Linda shared with the offenders the story of her late daughter, a victim of abuse, photos of the crime scene were passed among the audience. It became clear that the goal of the presentation wasn't to scold the men and women and point a finger, but to allow them to come to the realization that domestic violence is an inter-connected web. Your sister, your friend, your mother are all potential victims of abuse.
Along with the sharing of Linda's story, Carol, a survivor of not only cancer, but a 40-year long violent relationship, allowed the offenders a glimpse into the life of a victim of abuse. As Regina explained it, "Carol described how hard it was to get out because of the time that she grew up in, where it was very difficult to get out of a marriage." Regina also mentioned that coming to the realization that the relationship was affecting her negatively and a source of hurt in her life was the most difficult part.
Before meeting the offenders themselves, however, Regina also explained her apprehensions. "I thought they were going to be 'thug-ish' and scruffy, possibly evil-looking. However, it was the opposite that proved itself to be true. Most were average, everyday people, the kind of individuals you might see in a store or on the street - or possibly even in your own family."
Regina explained she remembered one man in particular, who was attractive and young, wearing nice clothing and jewelry. The faces of domestic violence and perpetrators are widespread and universal -- a single definition of who is an abuser or a victim is never certain.
As for how Regina felt immediately following her experiences in Eloy, "The feelings were positive. It was amazing. All of the offenders seemed favorable and intrigued by Linda's and Carol's stories. I think it opened their eyes to a lot and possibly to bring change into their lives."
by Julia Sullivan
by Julia Sullivan
ASU Intern for Fix the Hurt
