Chris Brown . . . . . . Rihanna

Today I received an email from D in VA who expressed concern about her daughter. Her fear is that her daughter might be married to an abuser. She wrote to me because I had commented on a blog regarding the Chris Brown/Rihanna incident. She asked for information on signs and indicators of an abusive man.

I gave her some advice about what to do as a mother - listen, listen and believe. I wrote her a lengthy email, talking about myths and realities, signs and red flags and some advice that I learned from sad experience. Don't demean your daughter's husband, as she will become defensive and stop talking to you, her mother. Keep those lines open and never make her choose between you and him. I sincerely hope that her daughter is in a safe place.

As awful as this high profile situation is, perhaps the attention Chris Brown and Rihanna (and I don't even like to connect them with "and") will help start dialogues between victims and their friends and families. Talking about domestic abuse is the only way it can be brought into the daylight and out of the dark corners where it has been hidden for so many, many years.

There has been some talk about changing Domestic Violence Awareness month from October to May. My initial reaction was, "yes, maybe it should not have to compete with other worthwhile causes like Breast Cancer Awareness", but as I look at the beginning of each year, we have January which is Stalking Awareness, Teen Dating Violence Awareness(Feb), Sexual Assault Awareness(Apr), Crime Victim's Rights Month(Apr) and if we then put May as Domestic Violence Awareness Month, that makes all of the emphasis on violence against women in the first half of the year - obviously, my feeling is that we should be aware of victims of these crimes every month. The fact that my Lisa's birthday is in October, is another reason for me to want October to be DV Awareness Month. But I am only one mommy.

And on another thought, an agency might get a sponsor for Sexual Assault event, i.e., Take Back the Night in Apr, but try getting that same sponsor to fund a DV event the very next month - they would be much more likely to sponsor another similar-cause event 6 months later. In a perfect world those of us in the business of trying to help and assist victims and prevent abuse would not have to focus on raising $$, but this is not a perfect world and it takes the support of those in the community to keep our message in the forefront. Just something to ponder.

John says, "Good judgment comes from bad experiences, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment."

Domestic Violence The Musical

Things are a little slow as far as plays are concerned. They will start to pick up next month. We will be presenting selected short scenes from "Domestic Violence the Musical?" to potential donors for a fundraiser. This well be for the benefit of the Sojourner Center. The event will take place at a sponsor’s home in Paradise Valley.
www.sojournercenter.org



Efforts continue, with our attempt to find sponsors that will provide funds to take the cast of DVTM to locations outside the El Paso and Phoenix metropolitan areas. We have made appeals to many large corporations with little success, yet. We are committed to getting the word out and will not tire in our efforts.




We are working with Vickie Florschuetz , of the Bravery Project to put together a fundraiser in November that, if successful, will provide some funds for this and other important items. If you have not visited Vickie's web site, it is well-worth your time to do so. This talented artist has taken a unique approach in the effort to circumvent domestic abuse. Thanks goes out to our friend, Jim Winspear, for his generous donation in the form of a check to Fix The Hurt. We appreciate all of you out there that have been so supportive of our efforts to prevent this pandemic. http://www.braveryproject.org/



John says: As we deal with many of those we are required to deal with in life just remember “Always drink upstream of the herd”. Note: many of the things John says are from sayings friends send him from time to time. Thanks for remembering, “John likes to say things”