AzCADV Sponsors DVTM

Fix the Hurt wants to give a big "shout out" to the Az Coalition Against Domestic Violence for sponsoring another production of "Domestic Violence, The Musical?" on May 11, 2009. The house may not have been packed with bodies, but it was packed with enthusiasm and emotion. The reaction from those in attendance was incredible. One young name became very angry with the actions of the abuser and commented to his family that, "it wasn't about his losing control, but about using control." What an astute observation!

My little 3 1/2 year old granddaughter attended because I couldn't stay home and babysit her and her parents wanted to be there, she sat very quietly in my lap next to her mommy and hardly moved. Even she was rivetted. The next day we were watching some of the video clips which included the abuser and she said to me, "I don't like him, he was mean to your friend." (referring to the victim).

You would think if a 17 year old and a 3 1/2 year old could get it, then a society of adults could understand the dynamics of domestic abuse.

I was touched by the reaction of one woman who came with her friend on a "spur of the moment" invitation. Seeing DVTM opened her eyes and some dialogue that was imperative to her courage to get out before it was too late. She commented that every time she would think about the things he had done to her, she would hear, C-O-N-T-R-O-L. Hooray for her.

On http://www.fixthehurtpag.org/, you can hear one of the songs from the play - "Abuser's Tango." There is also a link to pre-order the CD that will be available soon and will include 10 songs from DVTM.

On Wednesday night, I received a page to go to a domestic violence scene. When I arrived at 11:30 pm, I found a young woman, whose face was cut, bloody and swollen. I sat with her while she completed her statement for the police. She was trembling, disoriented and had difficulty focusing on her task. Her boyfriend had been arrested and taken to jail and she was already stressing over what would happen when he got out. I took her to the hospital emergency room in my car. (I got pulled over twice in the same 2 hrs period for traffic violations - but that is a different blog).

After spending several hours with her, I pray that she will not go back. I tried to do and say all the right things, but you never know what is going on in the mind of a victim. If she goes back this time, there may not be another opportunity to get out.

This is why it is so important to have information, listen to the victim, help them understand they are not alone. I know it is frustrating when victims make the wrong choice, but that doesn't mean we quit trying. Perhaps a life will be saved because of something you said or did right.

Fix the Hurt Performing Arts Group: Happy Mother's Day!!

Fix the Hurt Performing Arts Group: Happy Mother's Day!!

Happy Mother's Day!!

John writes:

Happy Mothers Day! A day that is set aside to recognize the absolute dependency of the world on mothers! And how feeble the attempt no matter how much we do. We are all brought to remember the gift of a mother to each of us and, while most are not perfect, some achieve a greater level than others. Still, nothing should diminish the fact that every mother on earth had to walk through that valley of the shadow of death to bring us into this world. I, for one, am grateful for the sacrifice that trip demanded and yet, most mothers shrug it off as an everyday occurrence. But for me I still say “Thanks, Mom, I know you can hear me!”

My thoughts are also turned to those mothers that, even on this day, are fighting to survive a violent relationship, those who are beaten regularly and those who have not survived the brutal attacks. How can society turn a loving, smiling hypocritical face to the world and say happy Mothers Day, and then go right back to doing nothing about the 25% of mothers in our society who are so severely abused?

Recently Linda has been trying to promote “Domestic Violence the Musical?” here in Phoenix. It will play Monday night at the Herberger Theater, for those who do not know. But I digress; Linda made arrangements with a local TV station to be on live to talk about the play and the impact on women and kids lives. She received a call from the station that they would not be able to keep this commitment, because it was Mothers Day Week End! You want to talk about something that makes you say, “HMMMMMM!” What better gift can be given all womanhood than a sincere effort to keep them from being abused! Oh, I know not all are beaten, but 25% of them is a lot more than a token number.

To me, this attitude just points out that most people either don’t get it or don’t believe it.
What can we do more to change this attitude? I suppose just what Fix The Hurt is doing, just keep butting the head against that wall!

So I close by saying “HAPPY MOTHERS DAY” To 75% of the mothers out there. To the other 25% I can only say that you are in our every thought, prayer, and effort!


John Says: Quoting George Carlin------- “Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.”

A Symbol for Domestic Violence

Like DV, the button has existed for centuries and was not always a useful object, often being for ornamental use and decried by many as an evil symbol of vanity by clergy and others. Even today considered so by the Amish people!

Queen Victoria had dark glass buttons made which were mourning buttons following the death of Prince Albert.

The button has been used as a badge to signify many things over the years. It has been used to signify growth as in a “knob” of a plant when the plant starts to grow. It is protection placed on the tip of a fencing foil to make the sport safe. It is also a warning device signifying danger as in the tip of a rattle snake’s tail or the “rattles”

It signifies hidden sensitivities which may cause explosive reactions to acts. For Example “She knows how to push his button!”

Also known as the sensitive area on the tip of the chin where a knock-out blow is placed. Also signifies “exactly on target.”

I would suggest that since the purple ribbon is so significant to women in calling to the mind the devastating effects of Domestic Violence that men should adopt the Purple Button as a symbol of their support in prevention of domestic violence.

There are ample reminders in this symbol reminding all of the centuries the button was around and served as a symbol of vanity as has been the history of domestic violence. It has been considered the right of the male population for centuries to the detriment of wives and daughters for centuries.

The button has already been used as a symbol of mourning by royalty and could well serve to remind us all of the lives lost and ruined by DV.

It could well serve as a reminder that there needs to be safety devices in all relationships to prevent injury during interaction with one another, and serve as a symbol of danger for not proceeding carefully into relationships lest the snake bite.

It should serve as a reminder to not push buttons and for sensitive feelings to be held back by buttoning the restraint on such sensitive feelings.

It can symbolize the growth of each party in the relationship and should serve as a reminder that a couple working together with help can be right on target for a happy safe loving relationship and deliver a knock-out blow to Domestic Violence.

John Says: "Dear God, I have a problem. Its me!"